Do you ever have those moments when you can CLEARLY see someone else’s faults? Secretly give yourself an imaginary pat on the back because of your astute sense of discernment? I had that experience recently when a ministry colleague reflexively told me “we’re not going to do that” when I suggested an idea I thought had great merit.  

My prickly retort was “why don’t we at least pray about it before so quickly saying no?”  (Two points for my reasonable, spiritually mature response, right?)

As I’ve stewed over my friend’s abrupt “no,” and my own "morally superior" reply, I was reminded of the adage “if you spot it, you’ve got it.” Ouch!

How often do I dismiss an idea or prompting without asking God for guidance?

All. The. Time.

 I’m not talking about moral decisions where there is a clear right and wrong. I’m talking about issues where there is more than one answer or solution, and where I might be resistant to reversing my position, trying something new, or testing long held assumptions.

If we’re still breathing, we should be growing. And growth generally (always?) happens when we step outside of our comfort zones. But it’s the alternate paths, the new ways of doing things, the actions that could subject us to failure or ridicule that often cause those reflexive “no” reactions. Many of those choices are really comfort zone busters in disguise.

None of us likes the thought of departing from what’s safe and familiar. But the purpose of life isn’t really about staying comfortable until we die, is it?

If you ever find yourself reflexively holding up an invisible “NO” shield, I hope you’ll join me on a little journey of self-examination:

1. What ideas or pieces of feedback have irritated you recently? Has anything caused you to give a knee-jerk “no” response? 
2. Think about what caused you to respond so quickly. Was it an issue of right and wrong? Did it violate your core values? Or was it more of an issue of preference or opinion or history?
3. If it wasn’t a clear matter of right or wrong, try to step away and gain some perspective. Are you dug in because “that’s the way we’ve always done it?” Is pride keeping you from reconsidering?Invite honest feedback from a friend. And then, really listen to the answer.
4. If you are a leader or a parent, your knee-jerk “no” reactions can easily shut down communications and creativity from the people who matter most to you. 
5. Save your NO answers for the really important issues. If your family or colleagues think NO is your standard answer to most questions, they’ll stop asking. They might even start doing end runs around you. 
6. Pray about the decision. Be willing to swallow your pride and yield to God. Ignore your fears and step out in faith. Trust God with the outcome.

Saying "yes" might not be easy. But it might be the best answer.  It might require eating some "humble pie." Care to join me for a piece?