Mother’s Day. For many, it’s a bright, sunny day of celebration. But for others, it’s a day of great heartache.  If you’ve suffered the heart wrenching pain of losing a child, infertility, or the very loud ticking of the biological time clock, Mother’s Day can be rough. And for those who have recently lost their own mom, Mother’s Day often churns up fresh waves of grief.

So what do you do with this approaching holiday? How do you not just endure the day, but embrace it?

Are you blessed to still have your mom? Celebrate her in a special way this year. Take the time to write her a letter and express what she means to you. Don’t just delegate the expression of your sentiments to Hallmark. Spend a few minutes affirming - in writing - what makes her so special. 

Is that a struggle for you? Are there more things about your mom that you find annoying than that you want to affirm? Welcome to the club! Many of us have been or are in that situation. With absolute certainty, I can say that your mom has positive attributes. Pray. Step back from your hurt and resentment and ask God to show you the things that make your mom unique and special.

Please don’t say “Yes, I need to do that….sometime.” There’s no better time than right now to write your mom a letter. I speak from experience. I swim laps in pools of regret about the fact that I never wrote a letter to my own dear mother before her death.

For those of you who are childless or have lost a child…I am so sorry. I haven’t walked in those shoes and know that I can’t fully understand your suffering. But I know what works for me when I am really hurting, and that is to do something for someone else. Have you ever considered affirming a mother whom you respect? Maybe you know a single mom who is carrying a heavy load and is desperate for some encouragement and practical help. Or someone who has been like a mother to you. We’re all emotionally dehydrated! Try pouring some love and encouragement into someone else this Mother’s Day! It’s guaranteed to make you feel better. 

Have you recently lost your own mom? Spend some time thinking about her. Make a list of her positive attributes and character qualities. (It’s OK to make another list of the traits you want to leave behind, too!) One of the best ways to honor your mom’s legacy is to be intentional about emulating the things that made her so special.

If you are blessed to be a mom, here’s a twist for Mother’s Day: why not write to your children and tell them how thankful you are to be their mother? Tell them how your life has been enriched by the wonderful role of motherhood. 

Your life circumstances might not be optimal. And yes, you might be dealing with a lot of pain this Mother’s Day. Let there be purpose to that pain. Make a difference in someone else’s life. Love big.